is this sentence correct

Question

 

​با سلام و عرض احترام

ممنون میشم نظرات ارزشمند شما را در رابطه با متن ذیل بدانم.

Just one question regarding the introduction, I attached the first page including an introduction with minor changes which have shown with track changes, would you please have a look on it and provide me with your precious opinion about that?

 

 

Answer 1

... which have been shown/are shown..... have look at it

OR you could easily put it like this: 

There is also one question regarding the introduction, i have attached the first page including an introduction with minor changes which are shown with the track changes, i would be grateful if you have a look at it and provide me with your precious opinion.

Comments

تشکر فراوان از لطف شما.

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