Autobiography correction request

Question

Dear professors

I have composed my autobiography to submit in my job interview but it undoubtedly includes potential grammatical, structural, punctuation & meaning errors. I would appreciate it if you locate the errors and provide me with suitable substitutions.

Here it is:

This is Ali Karimian. I studied English at Iran Language Institute(ILI). I was the top student most of the levels and in the end graduated at advanced level from the aforementioned with an overall average rating of good. I have taught English to adult elementary learners in Iranian House of Mine & Industry for one term. Although it was my first experience as a teacher, I was picked as the best teacher through a survey conducted among the students at the end of the term and received a bonus.

Regards

Ali Karimian

 

Answer 1

Ali, there don't seem to be serious errors. However I have some suggestions:

 

1- I studied English at Iran Language Institute

2- graduated with a good GPA (Grade Point Average)

3- adult elementary learners

4- I was picked as the best teacher

5- received bonus

 

p.s. I think "I graduated at advanced level" is redundant and "I graduated" will suffice, because graduation always takes place at advanced levels.

p.p.s. I say it again that these are just suggestions and your text sounds well.

Comments

Gr8 ideas. Thank you brother for both the time & consideration +

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my pleasure bro