Everyday Conversations Are Polite to the Point of Absurdity

Question

 

5 Ways Life in Iran Is Nothing Like You Think

By Eric Yosomono,  Lloyd George January 24, 2014

You know that episode of Seinfeld where an old man repeatedly insists that Jerry take a space pen, and when Jerry finally accepts it, he inexplicably pisses off an entire community of retired people for stealing a pen? That kind of weird negotiation double-speak is actually how even the most mundane exchange works in Iran. Whenever I asked a taxi driver how much a trip cost, he'd deflect my offer with a cordial "It's nothing," when he was really every bit as desperate to get paid as anyone else. Confused foreigners will sometimes exit a taxi without paying, forcing the driver to chase after them and explain that he didn't mean it -- it's just how things are done.

This is ta'arof in action, and it's not just a taxi thing; it sets the tone for every interaction you have. It's rare to purchase anything from any trader without them first refusing to take your money at least once, then "thank you" is countered with "I am your servant," which leads to "No, you are the master." And if that wasn't confusing enough, people will sometimes genuinely refuse money. After a particularly friendly taxi ride, my ta'arof exchange with my taxi driver ended with him handing me a pile of change that amounted to the exact amount I'd given him. Then he pulled over, let me out, and drove off. I guess I still may have screwed up, but if ta'arof demands that I chase his car down like I'm the freaking T-1000, then I guess I just suck at ta'arof.

Ta'arof also includes complex sets of greetings and farewells, and once you combine them with the loquaciousness of Farsi, everyday interactions can turn into the spoken equivalent of dueling banjos. And while it's totally normal in context, a literal translation of most conversations with vendors will undoubtedly include a promise to follow you through the bowels of hell itself rather than accept a fair price for your groceries.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_20855_5-ways-life-in-iran-nothing-like-you-think.html#ixzz3CPlM1MBA

 

NOW, what do you think?

Answer 1

Since I'm interested in linguistics and the related issues, I take a sociolinguistic stance towards the issue. I just quote from a book, to familiarize the interested people with the topic:

Politeness behaviour is one which co-participants in an interaction employ to indicate their lower status while elevating the status of the person being addressed.
One important aspect of Iranian social interaction centres upon the relative formality and informality of the relationship of the speakers. This phenomenon has received some attention from sociolinguists who have studied how lexical variants are correlated with relative social status in Iran. According to Beeman (1976: 315), in an Iranian social interaction the interactants’ goal is to be able to seize the opportunity to define their relative status, simultaneously aiming for a lower relative status position while deferring to the co-participant. In other words, they demonstrate to each other that they regard their co-participants as superior. This kind of behaviour is known in Persian as taarof.

Quoted from Kang Kwong Luke (2002).

You can download the book @:
http://libgen.org/get.php?md5=DA420CF3417BD781B947B44C61955EFA
or
http://gen.lib.rus.ec/get?md5=DA420CF3417BD781B947B44C61955EFA

Comments

It is such a relief to hear that Beeman understand us. Thanks for this wonderful sociolinguistic explanation on Taarof.